DESPERATE FOR ABSTINENCE:

Dancing around the thought of powerlessness,
while knowing that I am, but not willing to take the steps
to save my own life.

One bite at a time, I am killing myself and it has been slow
and painful; but I am driven to find what I desire the most.
CARBS. Only to suffer from the crash when the binge wears off.

Abstinence, a fleeting memory - so long ago attained and lost.
It was the set up, before the great jump from the cliff. Not eating an abstinent meal left me open for defeat...

Oh, how I have wished I would have done things different; but I didn't.
Plenty of opportunity to turn it around ... but not willing to walk the walk.

This insanity I call a relationship with food ... a joke at best.
It's a love hate connection - I love to eat food, but hate the damage
it causes my body, mind and spirit. - But yet, I AM POWERLESS.

Oh this vicious cycle -- this whirlwind ride -- this hurricane, I call
my life; is anything but joyous. But I am tired, lazy and out of
excuses.

My diabetes is out of control -- unknown whether it's to far gone to
turn back. Fatigued - because of depression as well as diabetes.
Sleeping my life away -- is not life at all.

Donna,
I am you and you are me and countless others I'm sure, that have triumphed once and then taken a deep plunge back to where we were. I feel and share your pain as we are in the same boat..........yet believe still, that where there is life there is hope, a tiny flicker is still there to light the way if even just faintly, still it is light.....
You are the person that can take that step, over that we are not powerless.
all good wished to you