I heard an interview on CBC about food addiction the other night. Up until that moment i thought my relationship with food was healthy and normal even though much of that relationship was done in secret. I love sweets and well I love food in general. So much so that it is in my mind on a constant basis. The idea of not ever eating sugar, wheat or flour again I find interesting and terrifying at the same time. I'm in Ottawa, Ontario Canada so there are no meetings here that i have seen listed on this website. So I guess my question is how do I begin? And how do I find a sponsor. Thank you:)

Desiree,
Hello and welcome! Thanks for making a post here and reaching out.
-Please feel free to email me at kkollatl@yahoo.com. I"m not sure how the phone works to you, but you could also call at - 678-923-9452.
We can talk about how to get started.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
thanks,
Kasey

Hi Kasey,
I just read your response to Desiree so am taking the opportunity to email you.

How can I do this? There is only OA here in Victoria and I feel out of place since everyone else who attends is overweight whereas I am underweight (my e.d. counsellor tells me that but I feel so fat these days…).

How can I get through the day, today? I have thrown out, yet again, my stash so there is no chocolate in the house now…

In August, I did 21 days of no sugar or chocolate and had just started to feel better when I went on a week long boating trip with my son and my ex-husband (who left me because of my disordered eating)…it was on day 2 of that trip that I picked up again…I see the correlation between my emotional state and my inability to stop that first bite.

Now it is worse than ever and my thinking has no ability to control my behaviour. I am filled with self-loathing and want to isolate but don't because I know that is part of the disorder and will lead to more self loathing and disordered behaviour. I try and get to an AA meeting every day, more than one if I can…but I don't know what to do anymore…

And, it seems too overwhelming…

I hope to hear from you soon… and thanks,
Sarah in Victoria