My kids were watching Charlie Brown this morning and I got a clear addiction/recovery message! Charlie Brown was drop kicking a football and Lucy walks up and offers to hold the ball for him to practice a place kick. He screams, "I just can't believe it! I just can't believe you would have the nerve to suggest that one more time!" He comtemplates trusting her and finally says, "Gee, It looks like this time, she's not going to pull it away! It looks like I'm finally going to get to kick that football." He runs toward the ball yelling, "After all these years, I'm finally going to get to kick that...aghhh!!" She pulls the ball away and he falls flat on his back...again. Lucy taunts him as he lies on his back, "Maybe you ought to try a new sport, Charlie Brown."

This reminds me of a few statements in the Big Book:

"What sort of thinking dominates [a food addict] who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first [bite]?"

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his [eating] is the great obsession of every abnormal [eater]."

"If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one [bite] means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one [bite]?"

"There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game."

"The almost certain consequences that follow taking even [one bite does] not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea this time we shall handle ourselves like other people...It won't burn me this time."

"How often have some of us [binged] in this nonchalant way...and said to ourselves, '...how did I ever get started again?'"

Lucy holding the football is like sugar, flour, and wheat or another diet, promising me satisfaction. But EVERY time I tried dieting and managing a little sugar, flour and wheat, I would end up flat on my back confused and defeated, wondering "what happened? where's my will power?"

I am so thankful today that through abstinence and the 12 steps, I don't have try to rely on myself and my will power just to be defeated by them again. I don't have to keep trying to kick that ball only to have it snatched out from under me. I am safe and secure with God, the food plan, the 12 steps, the fellowship, and myself:)

Again, from the Big Book:

"God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

Cathy--

Relating, relating--I'm just a (grateful) recovering jaywalker, after all!

Thanks for the visual.

Steve in GA